Duhhhhh..

so have you ever done something then after you think about it
and you realized you messed up or shouldnt have done what you did?

time to time it happens im sure to you.
but for some reason it happens to me more then time to time.

me controlling whats on my mind is difficult i guess.
i think i have everything bottled up inside or me i jus needa get it out.
so here i am blogging.



i dont know what the deal is with me and women but it doesnt work out the
way i think it should work out.
i think i set my expectations too high to where if it doesnt reach it i
take it the wrong way.

then i take it down on myself.
all i want is to take everything i did wrong back.
but i cant cuz what is said is done.
and all i can do now is change what i do and say.


i realize i blog to get things off my chest.
tho i can jus tell somebody for me its like if i do tell somebody
they would really get what im saying at the time.
or something like that.

but when i blog its like i dont need a reaction or response right away.
but i do get out what i need too.


when it comes to realizing things for me its too late.
i needa think more with my heart then my mind.
thats why they say follow you're heart.




on a brighter note...

i was off the last few days and its been nice.
ive been hanging out with good company and getting my mind off
of whats going out in the world and work.

and to top everything off Christmas is just a few days away.
and its my my favorite cuz i see more of my family. <3


and in the back of my mind i wish she was still there.
but its ok cuz i still have her where it counts.
shes still my friend and i gotta get used to it.
i love you all and hope you have a merry christmas.

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3


-Toph.